Going to Be On a Reality Show? Watch Previous Episodes!
I don’t get why someone on a reality show would get tripped up by anything they are asked to do. Do these people even watch the show they apply for? Why apply and interview and sign all those waivers if you don’t have a clue what is to come?
In episode 2 of The biggest Loser Season 9, white team’s Maria is asked to walk across a balance beam over a pool. As challenges go, this one is pretty routine. About half of the weekly challenges involve falling into a pool. Every season. Every year. Maria is so afraid of water that can’t make herself walk out over the pool even once. Not even one step, in fact. She works herself into such a fear state that she accidentally throws herself off the balance beam, landing face first onto the concrete floor. She breaks her nose and blood gushes everywhere. It’s a seriously bad situation.
I am just curious why Maria didn’t realize there would be water based challenges at the Biggest Loser Ranch.
My husband and his sister are watching every ep of Amazing Race to help them in their bid to get on the show. But Dan is a naturally researchy person. Some people would not think to do that, I guess. I know the current season’s Tongan boys mentioned they were also not Biggest Loser fans per se, but caught a few episodes of the season with Tongan cousins Sione and Felipe. That inspired them to try for the show. I really hope they sat down and religiously watched past episodes after they were casted.
I see this kind of thing on America’s Next Top Model too - where some girls get caught totally off guard about some things. Sometimes they are shocked someone cuts their hair off, or refuse to do the nude modeling shoots. Some of these girls have never walked in heels before. They cry during the inevitable CoverGirl commercial shoots because they can’t remember their lines; well, there is a CoverGirl commercial done every season. They don’t KNOW it’s coming? Get someone to help you run a few lines before you head out. And the girls don’t read up on designers and photographers…knowing Tyra is going to ask them industry questions. A half hour on the Internet would give them a few top designers and photographers to respond with. Every season some girls can’t name a single designer, or mangle their way through pronouncing the ones they dredge up. Want to be a model? Learn your craft!
You’d think wannabe models would be die-hard fans of the show and be prepared for these things.
I don’t watch any other reality shows, so I don’t know if this kind of ’show ignorance’ is rampant. But I’d think there would be no excuse for it.
On The Biggest Loser, there WILL be water based challenges, and height based ones, and sometimes both together in one challenge. There WILL be temptations. Jillian WILL climb on your body and scream in your face. Jillian will make you cry, and Bob will curse at you if you don’t join his cult. If you water load at weight-ins, people will know what you did. Betrayals in the elimination room will come back to haunt you. Sometimes eliminated players get to come back. You are expected to sweat buckets in that gym and you will probably vomit sometimes. And on and on.
Moral: you get selected to be on a reality show? Great! Now go watch every episode ever filmed.
Filed under Utterly Random, fitness | Comments (3)You do what you can to not stay insane
People have been suggesting I try to get my life and mind in order by scheduling out my days. I am happy to report that after a few months of this system, it seems to be working.
Here is my weekly schedule, living in an RV:
- Monday - sleeping
- Tuesday - hike
- Wed - sit in the sun and read
- Thurs - napping
- Friday - organize the RV
- Sat - more sleeping
- Sun - watch birds do bird things and wander around
It’s been pretty good. I highly recommend this routine to people who feel like they are broken inside and need lots of internal, unbothered, quiet time.
It’s been so successful that I ACTUALLY feel like writing again. And working on my inbox, answering emails and thinking about possible ways to make money. The best part is no one is pushing me…it’s just coming out organically. I feel like doing things again.
I hope I have really found a turning point for myself, but I don’t want to put out too much hope into it. I will just roll with what is given. 
Holy Crap. Lions! - Kenya Weebles Video
I can’t get enough of this Weebles video. It’s cute, funny and subversive even (read all the little text thingies). If you ever wanted to know how cool Kenya is, and how it could pee all over Norway, you’ll appreciate this too.
Weebles? Who knew?
Filed under Utterly Random | Comment (0)Sarah Palin vs Tina Fey - Body Doubles on SNL
I have been waiting and waiting for this to happen on SNL. It’s just too good. If you haven’t seen Sarah vs Tina on SNL, 
here’s your chance to see this uttermostly surreal moment in action. Head to head. In the flesh. Both funny and very, very creepy.
The first time I saw the sketch, I thought Tina played both parts. I only clued into the weird reality on my second viewing. Which makes me wonder…if Sarah did become president, could Tina simply…replace her…without anybody knowing?
Can you even tell which is which in this photo? Leave your best guess in the comments.
Filed under Utterly Random | Comments (16)The Joy of Poop Putting
I like to putt poops off my porch. On a daily basis. It’s a great new sport that anyone can learn. The key is to get the poop to sail sweetly off your porch in one swing, using a golf club of your choice.
This fabulous game was developed when I realized, a few months back, that I had trained my pets to poop on the porch - my upper deck around the back of the house. Back when we first moved in, we didn’t have a dog run, and the deck was knee high with snow. So we encouraged the dogs to eliminate on the deck.
We built a nice big dog run in May. And really, the dogs did a lot of their business down there. Yet my littlest one still preferred pooping on the deck.
For months I had been kicking the poops off with:
- My Shoe (eeeew!)
- A Big Stick (not enough control)
- The Force (this rarely worked)
It occurred to me I could do better. I COULD USE A GOLF CLUB!
Of course I did not have a golf club, as I don’t golf, but by GOD why should that stop me? I saw golf clubs at Goodwill all the time. So I drove to my local thrift store and poof - there it was. A lovely sand wedge slicer for three dollars. Overjoyed, I brought it home.
Fast forward to now, mid-summer: I am now a proud expert poop putter, at least with a sand wedge. I have mad skillz. It can be tricky to get the poop off in one swing, as there is only a small opening between the deck and the wooden railing. It’s really easy to bounce the poop right off the railing and thus, back to where I started. It can take a few tries to get those dookies in a perfect sailing arc into the air.
But when they go, boy oh boy is it satisfying.
Filed under Defies Categorization, Family Life, Utterly Random | Comments (15)