The Joy of Poop Putting

I like to putt poops off my porch. On a daily basis. It’s a great new sport that anyone can learn. The key is to get the poop to sail sweetly off your porch in one swing, using a golf club of your choice.

This fabulous game was developed when I realized, a few months back, that I had trained my pets to poop on the porch - my upper deck around the back of the house. Back when we first moved in, we didn’t have a dog run, and the deck was knee high with snow. So we encouraged the dogs to eliminate on the deck.

We built a nice big dog run in May. And really, the dogs did a lot of their business down there. Yet my littlest one still preferred pooping on the deck.

For months I had been kicking the poops off with:

1. My Shoe (eeeew!)
2. A Big Stick (not enough control)
3. The Force (this rarely worked)

It occurred to me I could do better. I COULD USE A GOLF CLUB!

Of course I did not have a golf club, as I don’t golf, but by GOD why should that stop me? I saw golf clubs at Goodwill all the time. So I drove to my local thrift store and poof - there it was. A lovely sand wedge slicer for three dollars. Overjoyed, I brought it home.

Fast forward to now, mid-summer: I am now a proud expert poop putter, at least with a sand wedge. I have mad skillz. It can be tricky to get the poop off in one swing, as there is only a small opening between the deck and the wooden railing. It’s really easy to bounce the poop right off the railing and thus, back to where I started. It can take a few tries to get those dookies in a perfect sailing arc into the air.

But when they go, boy oh boy is it satisfying.

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Cleaning Out The Office

Often on Sundays I feel inspired to clean and/or organize something. Cleaning makes me feel happy - it’s like I can impose my will on reality, and create order out of chaos. Perhaps it’s my Dark Side of the Force in action, wanting to create ORDER in the GALAXY.

I originally had my office on the main floor but then decided I wanted to move it downstairs where the bedrooms and Dan’s office is. That way we could reserve the main floor as our “off-duty” relaxing zone.

1:30 pm: Here is a picture of the random clutter I had “before.” I had stuff everywhere that was just shoved together the day I set up, in this odd bonus room right off our master bedroom. I am not sure the purpose of this room - nursery? Unfinished bathroom? Possibly a craft area?

To illustrate how much my husband loves me, he even made me a wooden floor for this bizarre little room. I hate carpet and wanted a floor so I could zip around on my chair between work stations. He literally made me a floor out of plywood, complete with foundations. What a guy! <3 ( <– a heart shaped emoticon)

2pm: Right now I am at the point where everything is dragged out of the room. I just vacuumed the floor and polished my wood shelves. I took down the white board and am currently thinking where things should be re-established for the best use of traffic and work flow. I don’t have much room to spare.

2:35pm: Spent 35 minutes moving around my six bookcases, credenzas and wall units. I think I *finally* have a configuration that will be useful for me.

My office needs a lot of space for books (for reference and titles to-be-reviewed), papers (we journalists have notes and brochures everywhere), products (also to be reviewed) and various wonderful doodads gifted to me by beloved friends and family members. These are useless things that take up space, but still I refuse to give them up: looking at them makes me happy.

2:45PM: Slightly frustrated about the furniture. This is a 7X7 space. I need places to put things. Lots of things. My husband has a paper-less office so his decorating is easy. My trick is to get everything I need in here without making it look cruddy.

2:55pm: Am getting serious about this: poured myself some Chardonnay, put on loud tunes to get the creative juices flowing. Still messing with the bookshelf placement.

3:16pm: Enjoying being in the “organizing zone.” Things are just leaping onto my shelves! Singing and grooving to retro tunes. Jungle Boogie!

4:02: DONE! Everything I want in the office is in the office. I feel great and it looks so much more usable in here now. Everything smells like my lemon oil wood polish and I am no longer ashamed of this space.

I decided to not sort my books yet. I put them wherever on the shelves: will place them by category another day. I also didn’t bother with the inside of drawers, for similar sanity reasons.

It’s never good to bite off more than you can chew in one afternoon.

So I have my Liz Phair playing - woot! I am slightly buzzed from the wine and ready to press my Staples Easy Button…get ready, here we go: “…that was easy…”

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PolyGeek Tee Shirts at Cafe Press

My hubby the uber geek made up some cool tee shirts in the style of Back to the Future. I like the direct reference to the popular quote that ends the movie…but am not in the know about what will be replacing those browsers.

I guess I am not ‘leet enough to get the joke. If anyone here is tech savvy, you could try explaining it to me. I can’t ask Dan; his explanations usually make my head hurt.

I still think the shirts are way cool - Where We’re Going, We Won’t NEED Browsers…..

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