Get People to Click your Shit
You want people on Twitter, Stumble, Digg or wherever to click through to your articles, images, YouTube videos and blog posts?
Here is one avenue people appreciate:
- Be funny.
Have a funny title or caption if you can spare one. Keep in mind the funny might not be as useful for SEO purposes.
Take, for example, my title here:
- Get People to Click your Shit
I think it’s funny. Does it have excellent keywords?…well, no. An SEO friendly title would read more like: How to Attract Click Throughs. How to Attract Readers to your Articles. How to Get Readers to Click Through to your Articles. Boring stuff like that.
If I was writing an article for a website I would have done just that. I would go with the keywords and get the SEO goodness from search engines. But this is my damn personal blog and I will do what I like with it.
If you really want to be smart, you can have an SEO friendly title AND still get the funny across. You can have a subtitle that’s funny. Or make a funny description. Or have funny tags.
In this case, I could have written:
- How To Convert More Readers: Click My Shit.
Convert, Readers and Click are all decent search terms. How To is a good search phrase. And the most important thing: Shit is still in the title. We’re really all just monkeys laughing about feces.
Or, I could make a Twitter post about eating brains, which always sounds funny. For example, Dan just sent me a zombie video. Zombies are funny on their own, but you can phrase things to sound even more enticing. Here is my recent Tweet on Common Craft’s video about surviving zombie attacks:
- Save Your Brains. How to identify, escape and eliminate zombies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVnfyradCPY&feature=user
I could have just said, “How to identify, escape and eliminate zombies” - which is certainly funny on its own, yet so earnestly serious. My playful brain eating touch is sure to get Common Craft a few more readers, which they deserve, as their video is cute, funny, and provides useful advice about surviving zombie attacks. The best of all worlds! Just like this blog post!
So what have we learned today? That zombies, brains and shit are funny. That we’re monkeys. And that, yes, there ARE benefits to possessing an irreverent mind, despite what my teachers said about me.
Filed under Defies Categorization, mind clutter | Comments (8)The Joy of Poop Putting
I like to putt poops off my porch. On a daily basis. It’s a great new sport that anyone can learn. The key is to get the poop to sail sweetly off your porch in one swing, using a golf club of your choice.
This fabulous game was developed when I realized, a few months back, that I had trained my pets to poop on the porch - my upper deck around the back of the house. Back when we first moved in, we didn’t have a dog run, and the deck was knee high with snow. So we encouraged the dogs to eliminate on the deck.
We built a nice big dog run in May. And really, the dogs did a lot of their business down there. Yet my littlest one still preferred pooping on the deck.
For months I had been kicking the poops off with:
- My Shoe (eeeew!)
- A Big Stick (not enough control)
- The Force (this rarely worked)
It occurred to me I could do better. I COULD USE A GOLF CLUB!
Of course I did not have a golf club, as I don’t golf, but by GOD why should that stop me? I saw golf clubs at Goodwill all the time. So I drove to my local thrift store and poof - there it was. A lovely sand wedge slicer for three dollars. Overjoyed, I brought it home.
Fast forward to now, mid-summer: I am now a proud expert poop putter, at least with a sand wedge. I have mad skillz. It can be tricky to get the poop off in one swing, as there is only a small opening between the deck and the wooden railing. It’s really easy to bounce the poop right off the railing and thus, back to where I started. It can take a few tries to get those dookies in a perfect sailing arc into the air.
But when they go, boy oh boy is it satisfying.
Filed under Defies Categorization, Family Life, Utterly Random | Comments (16)