Holy Crap. Lions! - Kenya Weebles Video

I can’t get enough of this Weebles video. It’s cute, funny and subversive even (read all the little text thingies). If you ever wanted to know how cool Kenya is, and how it could pee all over Norway, you’ll appreciate this too.

Weebles? Who knew?

Only in Kenya

Zombies Want Your Brains Song

Here’s a rocking little zombie song on YouTube:

“We only want to eat your brains. We’re not unreasonable; I mean, we won’t eat your eyes.”

This song made me and some friends think - are the zombies lying? Why don’t they also want the eyes? That’s got to be like fresh grapes to them.

I believe they’ll eat the eyes if you let them near your face. They don’t seem awfully picky about what body parts they shove into their gaping maws.  So, consider this a public service - don’t trust zombies to only go for your brainz. They will most likely eat your eyes on their way TO the brainz, and then look around for your liverz and spleenz too.

One Year Goals Update, October 23

I am documenting my life goals on this site as a way to keep myself accountable, and to possibly inspire others to do the same on their blogs. One friend already took my example to make her own life updates on her blog: Adventures in Writing, Goals for 08-09.

With no more ado, here is my most recent update:

* My next shorter term goal was to break in to the 20ks at Amazon (and have 100 reviews up) - Reached 28K this week. Yeah! Teens are coming next! I have set until May 09 for this goal so I think i will get there way before that. I still haven’t posted 100 reviews yet - I seem to do reviews in batches. I am waiting for the next time I feel inspired to make a batch.

* Taxes - There’s been some crazy IRS stuff. I finally filled out my 2007 forms and need to figure out where to hand them in. ASAP. I hope I can do this tomorrow on my way out of town. We don’t like heading down the mountain unless we have to - gas is too expensive! I also need to figure out how to roll my 2001 penalty into the rest of my penalty plan. AND got to get together with my new taxes person to figure out how to get 08 in order. I don’t want to be late, ever again.

* Stuff in Storage - We are heading to AZ this weekend to pick up our things from storage. We’ve rented a uhaul trailer ($200! Yeeps). We arranged to stay with a friend for two nights and to see some people while out there. Just need to pack a few things tonite. We won’t be getting my RV this trip, but i’d like to grab a few things from it. So I will still have to make another trip out there soon.

* Organizing Utility/Laundry Room - This has been a fun project and I am almost done. I am pleased with how this came out. YAY me!

* Paint Living Room - The kid we hired never ever showed up. So I just did it myself last week. I’ve never done anything like this before and it was trail and error. But my accent wall came out lovely and DH really approves too. As far as the flooring, this will wait. The economy is too sucky right now. And we decided to return the ceiling fan and just use the one that is up already (get our $119 back from Lowes).

* Office Organized - I did most of it but still need to set aside time to do the drawers. I documented my office cleaning project.

* Crestline Living Website - Still improving in traffic, now has a page rank of 3, and is getting much much closer to my goal of number one Google search result for Crestline California.

* Making 1k a Month from my Projects - Still not seeing things pay off, but I am still in the building phase. Sigh. Too much to do. I think this goal is too big for one year. Maybe I should break it into smaller steps.

Misc New Goals -

* Organize walk in closet
* Organize bathroom shelves

Application Form for the Evil League of Evil

I wish I’d found this form before the deadline so I could prove my evilness to the League. But it’s still a hoot to read through the application and I can’t wait to see the videos they select:

Apply to the Evil League of Evil

Note - this will make a LOT more sense to you if you are a Joss Whedon Fan. Just saying.

Second Note - remember, Henchmen need not apply. Contact your union.

Sarah Palin vs Tina Fey - Body Doubles on SNL

I have been waiting and waiting for this to happen on SNL. It’s just too good. If you haven’t seen Sarah vs Tina on SNL, here’s your chance to see this uttermostly surreal moment in action. Head to head. In the flesh.  Both funny and very, very creepy.

The first time I saw the sketch, I thought Tina played both parts. I only clued into the weird reality on my second viewing. Which makes me wonder…if Sarah did become president, could Tina simply…replace her…without anybody knowing?

Can you even tell which is which in this photo? Leave your best guess in the comments.

It’s Fun When Authors Link to Your Reviews

I love it when authors whose books I review link to me. Or comment on my site. I do the happy dance and then show my husband, who acts suitably impressed.

• Here is the link back I just found on Anne Cushman’s author website for my review of Enlightenment for Idiots:

Enlightenment for Idiots - News & Events page:

~  “…I could have traveled with Amanda and Devi Das stumbling for enlightenment for years.”

• Previously, Debra Gallant commented on my review of her Book Fear and Yoga in New Jersey:

Thanks for the nice review. I especially liked this insight: You can taste the sense of squeaky-clean New Jersey suburbia - and understand the price people pay to maintain such outward “perfection.”

• And lest you think only yoga authors keep track of who reviews them, here is the nice comment I got on my review of Blogging for Dummies from author Susannah Gardner:

hi jill,thanks for the great write-up of blogging for dummies — i really appreciate it and i’m glad you are finding it useful :)  - susannah.

What is extra cool is I met Susannah recently, at the IzeaFest Blog Expo 08, where she was speaker. She graciously granted me an interview, which I will post shortly.

It’s strangely fun for me to get a shoutout from an author. Realistically, I know it’s not a big deal - I am an author myself (Arizona Off the Beaten Path, 4th and 5th editions). Some of my best friends are authors. But still. Everybody likes to be noticed.

Get People to Click your Shit

You want people on Twitter, Stumble, Digg or wherever to click through to your articles, images, YouTube videos and blog posts?

Here is one avenue people appreciate:

• Be funny.

Have a funny title or caption if you can spare one. Keep in mind the funny might not be as useful for SEO purposes.

Take, for example, my title here:

• Get People to Click your Shit

I think it’s funny. Does it have excellent keywords?…well, no. An SEO friendly title would read more like: How to Attract Click Throughs. How to Attract Readers to your Articles. How to Get Readers to Click Through to your Articles. Boring stuff like that.

If I was writing an article for a website I would have done just that. I would go with the keywords and get the SEO goodness from search engines. But this is my damn personal blog and I will do what I like with it.

If you really want to be smart, you can have an SEO friendly title AND still get the funny across. You can have a subtitle that’s funny. Or make a funny description. Or have funny tags.

In this case, I could have written:

• How To Convert More Readers: Click My Shit.

Convert, Readers and Click are all decent search terms. How To is a good search phrase. And the most important thing: Shit is still in the title.  We’re really all just monkeys laughing about feces.

Or, I could make a Twitter post about eating brains, which always sounds funny. For example, Dan just sent me a zombie video. Zombies are funny on their own, but you can phrase things to sound even more enticing. Here is my recent Tweet on Common Craft’s video about surviving zombie attacks:

• Save Your Brains. How to identify, escape and eliminate zombies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVnfyradCPY&feature=user

I could have just said, “How to identify, escape and eliminate zombies” - which is certainly funny on its own, yet so earnestly serious.  My playful brain eating touch is sure to get Common Craft a few more readers, which they deserve, as their video is cute, funny, and provides useful advice about surviving zombie attacks.  The best of all worlds! Just like this blog post!

So what have we learned today? That zombies, brains and shit are funny. That we’re monkeys. And that, yes, there ARE benefits to possessing an irreverent mind, despite what my teachers said about me.

We Continues to Hate Flying

Want to read about my bad experiences with US Airways recently? On JillFlorio.com I posted my recent lovely experiences of nickle and diming by the airlines:
Fly the Hostile Skies on US Airways

One Year Goals, September/October Update

I had not reassessed my goals for the year since early August, so I may as well do that now. It’s after a long trip, it’s now officially Fall, and it feels like a good time to look at things once more.

Reassessing my one year goals:

1. “Have begun art portfolio” - I am starting to itch to paint. This is a good sign. I won’t push it. I have a long to-do list and want the painting to happen organically.

2. “Both our credit scores are good” - No change from July. I haven’t even looked at them or tried to get Dan’s again. My SIL recommended trying freecreditreport.com; says it works well for her. I like their commercials. Does that count for something?

3. “All my stuff from Arizona is here” - We decided it would be a bad idea to run to AZ in the middle of the Mojave in the summertime. DH and I plan to get our behinds out there in October, no excuses. Should we just clear out the storage and come back? Or bring back the RV as well and save another trip? With the RV, there will be far more stress. It needs a smog check, renewed registration, some insurance, probably new tires and who knows what else. Save it for anther time? Suck up the stress and do it now? Thoughts?

4. “I have one or two ebooks up in Cosmetics” - This is being backburnered while I get lots of articles preloaded for the year.

5. “JillFlorio.com is up to date with all old articles and current ones and back online” - The site is back online, is looking good and has much of my old work live. YAY! I still need to move my fish and hiking articles up, and then find my old sci-fi reviews (not sure where I stored them). That will be enough for this year. Next year I will scour my old floppies, zip drives and old hard drives for copies of previously published print articles. Since that will be a huge project, I am not going to worry about that just now.

6. “Cosmetics site is preloaded through end of the year” - I am on a roll! I need only 13 more articles to finish out 08. Then I can reassess a new goal for 09.

7. “Crestline Living is up to date and number one Google result for Crestline” - Getting closer to the prize position of number one! The site was not up-to-date for several weeks while I traveled, but now my paid Crestline Living writer Michelle Snow has set daily articles to drop for a good long while. I am pleased as punch. Things are moving along.

8. “Break 500,000 in Amazon reviewer rank” - More good news! I am now at 47,226 and look forward to achieving my new goal of breaking the teens by May 09.
9. “Earning $1000 a month from my various projects” - No love here. Still earning about 225-250 a month.  This is a time of building and I hope it pays off. I try not to get discouraged: it’s a Long Tail game, after all. I am using my Blog Mastermind program and it’s, quite frankly, thrilling.

10. “Go camping with Dan or alone at least every three weeks” - I am happy with how this is going. We’ve had some great camping trips and then some long travels in Orlando. Our next trip will probably be to Flagstaff to grab our things from storage. It would be nice to do some camping in Sedona or the Grand Canyon during that time.

11. “Have an accountant/tax person and all business/taxes will be well in hand and no longer a source of confusion and stress” - We decided to hire an expert in town, as the friend we wanted to hire already really has a full plate on her hands. New issues with the IRS came up, so we re-hired our old Seattle lawyer a few days ago. I have no idea what the lawyer will cost us, but the new amount the IRS dug up is an additional $2500 owed. While this is discouraging, we are plowing ahead with integrity in the hopes of clearing everything up shortly. On Monday, I will call our new local tax accountant and make a date to finish handling our 2007 taxes.

12. “Revised Yoga goal is to be comfortably solid in the Intermediate camp in a year and playing around with Advanced poses” - I have fallen behind in doing yoga  - it was too hot all summer to feel inspired. Now that it’s cooling off, I will re-energize my practice again. I even have a new, eco-friendly yoga mat to test drive.

13. “Office will be organized” - I did it! The space is reorganized. I still have to work on the paperwork, shelves and drawers and will hopefully do this in October or November.

14. “Kitchen/utility room will be organized” - I seriously want to pull everything out of my cabinets and shelves and redo these areas. I want to do my bedroom closet as well. These will be GREAT Fall/Winter projects.

15. “Will have new flooring, ceiling fan and wall paint done” - Nothing has been done. The neighborhood kid flaked on us. The paint and ceiling fan we bought are just sitting around. I might paint the wall myself this Fall (another good autumn project) but we still need a contractor for the other jobs.

16. “Will have tried all local yoga classes and reviewed them for CrestlineLiving.com” - Once I get back into my practice, this will happen again as well.

17. “Will no longer find getting packages to me as a nightmare” - Once again we are having trouble with our packages. I think we will need to make a bin, add a lock, put it on the street and notify Fed Ex/UPS. We will make sure, once we buy a house somewhere, NEVER to live on an access road again.

18. “Will have several control journals created and in use, including emergency plan journal” - Still need to write out an Action Plan and update our emergency kits.Another Fall/Winter project.

19. “Weight down to 120 to stay there, with under 20% fat levels” - I have not been eating a daily salad, due to travel, and also, my fitness routines have been hit or miss. Long trips of several weeks really screws up schedules! Once again I have 12 pounds to lose. I did manage to stay on the low carb plan at least.

Crestline Living Now Showing on Page One of Google ~ yes!

More good news - reader and friend Michelle Snow just wrote and told me I am at - ahem - 3rd from the top on PAGE ONE of Google for search phrase Crestline California! YES! WOOHOO!

So I took a look and there it is, all shiny on page one. Above the Wikipedia entry for Crestline, even:

1. Crestline Chamber of Commerce - VACATIONS

   The Crestline Chamber. … Crestline - Home of Lake Gregory! HOSTED BY Mountain Digital 909.939.4145.
   www.crestlinechamber.net/ - 4k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

2. Crestline, California (CA) Detailed Profile - relocation, real …

   Crestline, California detailed profile. … View more photos (we have 40 pictures of Crestline, CA available). Submit your own pictures of this place and …
   www.city-data.com/city/Crestline-California.html - 90k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

3. Crestline Living — Crestline California - Life in the San …

   Slideshow of our Home in Crestline CA. August 10th, 2008 · No Comments. Here is a Smilebox Slideshow my mother in law made for me on a recent visit to our …
   crestlineliving.com/ - 50k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

4. Crestline, California - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

   Federally, Crestline is located in California’s 41st congressional district, which has a Cook PVI of R +9 [3] and is represented by Republican Jerry Lewis. …
   en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crestline,_California - 47k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

See? Number THREE! I don’t mind being behind the Chamber of Commerce for Crestline, but maybe I can creep up past the City Data website in the next few months.